First Parent Blogs « Empty Cereal Box

First Parent Blogs

Adoption is not about unwanted children.
It is about unwanted mothers.

Below is a list of links from first parents who got caught in the adoption machine. Read about their experiences.

If you or someone you know is a first parent (a natural, biological parent who lost a child to adoption) with a blog and you don’t see it listed here, leave the link in the comment box below and I’ll be sure and list it. Thanks for stopping by.

Aislin
Erika Klein
Thanksgiving Mom
Confessions of a Secret Birthmom
Cookie Speaks
Carbuckle
MaryReunited
Parenting After Adoption
Therapy is Expensive
Emily Rose, by her Dad
Robin
Writing my Wrongs
Poor_Statue: Not Mother
Feracious
Chronicles of Munchkinland
Bear’s Mommy
Wet Feet
Zoees Mommy
Brad’s Blog
We are Everywhere
Jayne’s Blog
Adoption Roadkill
A Barrel of Nelsons
Aborted Mother
Adoption Sucks
Adoption Survivor
Adoption Truth
Adoption, Reunion and Second Chances
Another Amy
Being Me
Birthmom-confessions of
Birthmother; Reprise
Cigarettes & Coffee
Coleman Moms and Babes
Diarrhea of a Madman
DNA Diaries
Erika
I am a mom, not a birthmom
I Should Really Be Working
It’s Always in the Undercurrents
Keep Families Intact
Keeping Babies With Mommy
Kim Kim
Liable to Change
MagicPointeShoe
Mommyhood and Life According to Coco
Motherhood Deleted
Musing Mother
Musings of the Lame
Never Unwanted
Nicole’s Story
Not Mother
Paragraphein
Rambling B-Dad
Searching for Myself
Second Chance Mother
Sing Out
Stop, Drop and Blog
Surviving Adoption Loss (Cheerio’s World)
The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
The Mothers Project
The Scoop
Therapy is Expensive
Wet Feet
Writing My Wrongs
Yellow Curtains
You Never Get Over It

One Response to “First Parent Blogs”

Lori A Says:
November 6, 2008 at 7:52 am | Reply
I just wanted to stop in and say thank you for adding mine and my daughters blog to your list. If I knew how I would reciprocate. Maybe one day we will figure it out.

Permanent PTSD

[PERMANENT = existing perpetually; everlasting, esp. without significant change; PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) = a severe and ongoing emotional reaction to an extreme psychological trauma]

"The child separated from his/her mother at or soon after birth misses the mutual and deeply satisfying mother-child relationship, the roots of which lie in that deep area of personality where the physiological and psychological are merged. This is part of a biological sequence... It is doubtful whether the relationship of the child to its post-partum mother, in its subtler effects, can be replaced by even the best of substitute mothers. The infant is traumatized by its separation from the mother at birth."
--Florence Clothier ("The Psychology of the Adopted Child")

"The separation of mother and child causes psychic shock and should never occur unless there is no other choice. The wound makes the infant feel that part of itself has disappeared, leaving it with a feeling of incompleteness or lack of wholeness."
--Nancy Verrier ("The Primal Wound")

Not knowing who your genetic relatives are causes a LACK of what Erik Erickson ("Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self") called "ACTUALITY," by which he meant "not feeling connected to people and events in a real way."
--

Pregnant? Keep Your Baby

DON'T LET THEM COERCE YOU!

Here's why:

If you surrender your baby to adoption, you will be condemning him or her to suffer these proven harmful effects:

1. The severe trauma of being separated from you will radiate throughout every aspect of your baby's life. Your baby will experience your loss as the psychological death of his mother. There will never be closure.

2. Your baby will know the difference between you and his female adopter because he has bonded with you during your pregnancy. He knows your scent and your heartbeat. He seaches for the smell of your milk - not hers.

3. Your baby will feel abandoned by you, often resulting in a lifelong inability to trust anyone.

4. Your baby will always wonder why you didn't keep him and will blame himself for not being lovable enough to keep - a todder's realization that they were adopted. Many adult adopted people find they still carry this feeling inside - and it influences adult relationships.

5. As your baby grows up, your child may feel like a misfit and will suffer from low self esteem.

6. Your child may think about you constantly. This may cause your child to have difficulty concentrating on his schoolwork. Your child will be labeled a "dreamer" and a "bad student," further harming his chances for success in life.

7. Your child's adopters may not understand his lack of concentration and he could easily be misdiagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). If misdiagnosed, they will force your child to take drugs that he doesn't need.

8. Your child will lose his true identity while his adopters try to force him to be like them.

9. Your child will have no sense of his past which will make it difficult for him to envision his future.

10. Your child may suppress his true feelings and live an emotionally-numb life in order to survive the tragedy of his separation from you compounded by his adoption.

11. As your child becomes an adolescent he will have great difficulty establishing a sense of self because he will have no sense of his true history or heritage.

12. As your child becomes an adult he may have difficulty choosing a career and a mate due to his fear of commitment and abandonment.

13. Your child's adopters will probably not acknowledge that raising an adopted child is different from raising a child of their own. They will further burden him by telling him that he should forget about you and be grateful that they adopted him and gave him a home because you did not.

14. Nothing anyone does or says can ever make up for the loss of your child's first family!

15. You will never be able to change the past and undo the lifelong adverse effects of adoption on your child!

--Originally found on Exiled Mothers. "Coersion Tactics Used on Moms" link is now a "404 not found" page.

Keep Your Baby!

A mother carries in her bloodstream, for decades after they are born, a little piece of every baby she has had

Adoption? Why I'm Not Giving Up My Baby

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